Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
