Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
