I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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