Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
