remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
