her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
