oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
