one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Randomize
