ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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