I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
