spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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