R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
