the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
