I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
