Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Woke up backwards on a recliner
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
