Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
