hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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