i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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