i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
