Me too!
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
