god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
