you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
