I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
