I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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