I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Randomize
