Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Randomize
