You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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