Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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