There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
