I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize
