Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
