Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
