Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
