Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
