my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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