I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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