end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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