we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
