dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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