You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
