Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
