I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Randomize
