how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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