I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
