Midget sex pt 2 tonight
My nipple is on Facebook.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
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