Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
