She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
