Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
