Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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