I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
there is puke in my bra ... again
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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