she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
